


"I was a fool."

by pass76



Series: 30 DAYS, 30 FICS [5]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-01
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-08-14 01:11:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16483220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pass76/pseuds/pass76
Summary: “We’re together Derek so that means we’re a team, we decide things together. You don’t get to decide when your life is important and when it isn’t important. You don’t get to go around throwing yourself at any problem."25•30





	"I was a fool."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry this took me so long to get to you!! I'm not sure I'm 100% in love with this, I'll probably review it and maybe change it bit later. Another one should be up tomorrow so stay tuned (we're about to get into the holiday ones)!! 
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy :)

 

Stiles was quiet the whole way home, sitting in the passenger seat not moving and not making a sound. Derek was gripping onto the steering wheel like maybe it would be able to give him all the answers, like maybe it would help him understand why Stiles was so mad.

They both have sacrificed their lives for others, for the greater of the community and to help keep Beacon Hills alive and on the map. What made this time any different, what made Derek doing it any different than it was for Stiles?

When they get back to the apartment that they shared Derek got out and headed up to the apartment. Stiles followed behind him somber and quiet, not saying a word. It was highly unlike him to go so long without saying anything to Derek.

Derek needed him to do something, to yell, to scream, to fight with him, to do something.

“Stiles,” Derek says, grabbing Stiles wrist as he walked past him.

“I can’t Derek, I can’t talk right now because if I did all I would do would yell at you.” Stiles yanks his wrist away from Derek and walks into the living room.

“Maybe I want you to yell at me,” Derek says, pleading. He needed Stiles just to say _something_.

“Nothing good is ever said in anger Derek,” Stiles says, stopping and turning around to Derek.

“Stiles please,” Derek pleads with him again. He wanted to hear him say something. Derek hated hurting Stiles, yet he seemed to be doing it over and over again.

“What would you like me to say Derek? Would you like me to scream at you telling you how fucking stupid you are to continue to put yourself on the line while people will never do the same for you?” Stiles yells at Derek, his arms flailing all around him.

“Anything but the quiet, I hate your quiet,” Derek says, trying to reach for Stiles before he jerks his arm away.

“If you hated my quiet then you would stop doing things that made me not want to talk to you,” Stiles says heading into their bedroom.

Derek follows him and reaches for him again, only to have Stiles wrench his hand away again. “You would have done it too,” Derek says.

Stiles stops in the middle of the hallway, his back to Derek and his body stock still. “No I wouldn’t have done something like that, not anymore. I wouldn’t have done that because I know what your opinion is of me putting myself in danger.” Stiles turns around and his face was red, his heart rate elevated, and his whole body warmer. “I have more respet for my significant other than that.”

It was a snide remark, one Stiles knew would get a rise of anger out of Derek. “Stiles don’t,” Derek says, shaking his head slightly.

“Don’t what? Tell you how I feel? You wanted me to talk right?” Stiles asks.

Derek knew this was all out of malice and anger at the situation, of never being able to seem to escape the shenanigans of Beacon Hill’s but Derek wanted to hear him say it, he wanted to hear the word Stiles knew he’d better keep quiet than say. “Right,” Derek says, crossing his arms, “go ahead then.”

“We’re together Derek so that means we’re a team, we decide things together. You don’t get to decide when your life is important and when it isn’t important. You don’t get to go around throwing yourself at any problem,” Stiles was stepping forward now, closer to Derek, but Derek refused to be defeated. He wasn’t going to feel guilty about saving his friends, his family, his pack.

Stiles stands there in front of Derek, his whole body rigid. “You’re a fool Derek Hale,” Stiles says, turning his back on Derek and continuing into their bedroom. “And I was an even bigger fool to fall in love with you.”

The door slams behind him and Derek stands there a minute, staring at the door, not really processing the words until he moves towards the living room.

‘I was a fool to fall for you,’ is all Derek hears on repeat in his head. A fool to fall for the man with such a troubled past that he hasn’t even truly dealt with it to this day. A past to dark and twisted that he would lay down his lie for another without even thinking twice. A past so dark that he would welcome death with open arms. A past so dark that he couldn’t love someone and let someone love him without fear of it being the defining factor in every single thing that they ever did.

Derek stumbles into the living room, his breath short and his vision beginning to blur. Derek brings his hand to his chest, desperately wanting to claw through it just to get his heart to start acting right, to start beating normal again. His senses leaving him, making him incapacitated, kneeling to the floor, not being able to breathe or feel, or hear anything other than his own labored breathes.

‘I was a fool to fall for you.’ ‘Keep us a secret.’ ‘You’re no good alpha.’ ‘You took advantage of me.’ ‘I want you out of my territory.’ ‘Derek, let me have you one last time. ‘They’re lying about me Derek.’

‘I was a fool to fall for you.’

‘I was a fool.’

Derek starts counting. Ten, the number of times he’s thought about telling Stiles he loves him.

‘I was a fool.’

Nine, the number of times he’s saved Scott. Eight, the number of times he calls Cora a month. Seven, the number of other pack members he has.

‘I was a fool.’

Six, the number of times Erica has saved him. Five, the number of his self. Four, the number of times Isaac has been there for him.

‘I was a fool.’

Three, the number of swirls on a triskelion. Two, the number for his parents. One, the person he’s in love with.

By the time he finally reached number one his breathing is back under control. He’s still clutching at his chest and he can see the small puncture wounds from where he felt like clawing out his own heart.

Derek stands on shaky legs and walks toward their shared bedroom. Where Stiles sleeps on the left side of the bed and Derek the right, Where Stiles has his reading glasses and stack of books and Derek has his laptop and his coffee mug. Where Stiles has his pumpkin soap and Derek has his all spice.

Derek opens the door slightly to see stiles on his knees next to the bed, clutching at his own chest, four small scars right around his heart. Derek can see the slashes on his stomach and the burns on his upper arm, he can see the star mark of the spark on the inside of his right palm and the pack mark on his shoulder.

“I couldn’t live life without you. I know you may feel like a fool, but very day that I wake up to you I feel invincible. You make me want to save our friends, our pack. You make me want to be better. You make me want to forget the past, Stiles, to move forward with you into _our_ future. You make me want that,” Derek pauses, meeting Stiles’ eyes, “but I need to know that you don’t think this is a mistake.”

Derek and Stiles stay like that; Derek standing at the door looking down at Stiles as Stiles stays on his knees next to their bed.

“I was a fool to fall for you Derek,” Stiles says again and Derek’s heart clutches in his chest. “But not because of your fucked up past or your alpha complex, but because falling for you means that I will never be able to love anyone else ever again. If this doesn’t work then this is it.”

Stiles finally gets up and moves across the room, slowly reaching out his arm. Derek does the same and when their fingertips touch Derek feels a surge of electricity, his whole body coming alive with it. Derek can feel it burn into the side of his chest, their mark, the soul mark, both taking place on the most vulnerable part of themselves.

Stiles brings his fingers up to trace Derek’s mark. “I love you Derek Hale. You’re it for me,” Stiles says, leaning up to kiss him.

“I love you too,” Derek says before reaching around Stiles’ neck to feel his soul mark before finally sealing their lips.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Same Derek and Stiles as before, just at different ages. 
> 
>  
> 
> I am seriously so tired, I know you don't wan to hear me complain but I've been working my regular job, the voting polls, and trying to shadow...I'm EXHAUSTED :( I do work early tomorrow so we should have a good one tomrrow.


End file.
